...is the best word to describe what I'm feeling. Ever since D and I decided that this spring would be it, I've been terrified. And strangely excited. (Emphasis on strangely.)
We'll have been married for four years in June (together for nine in May), so we both feel it's time to start trying.
Did I mention that I'm terrified?
We have plenty of friends who have taken the leap. After all, we aren't terribly young (I'm 29 and he is 31). I love our friends' kids, and our nearly two year-old niece looks like she just fell from Cutie Pie Heaven (is there such a place?). But, as in life, there are no guarantees when it comes to reproducing. Who knows who we'll get stuck with?
Okay, enough with the negativity! I really am looking forward to the whole experience. You have to understand, I'm an only child. I don't have a lot of patience for, experience with, or knowledge of children. This will be all new to me. All. New.
To put it another way: I've never changed a diaper.
So what is this blog about since I'm not pregnant yet? There are a few things I want to accomplish before that journey begins.
1) I want to lose Fifteen Pounds, dang it! (In my mind) Losing this last bit of weight will somehow make me baby weight-proof in the future.
2) I want to make some changes to our lifestyle. It's not that we aren't healthy, but we're definitely not as healthy as we could be. I want to start eating more organically and sustainably. (In my mind) I feel like this will make us better parents, and it will give our baby a better foundation on which to build healthy habits.
3) I'm really bad at the whole saying I'm going to do something, then completely flaking out. I need accountability, and (in my mind) this blog will help me to hold my feet to the fire when it comes to accomplishing goals.
Clearly, I am in trouble.